I like fruit
I like chocolate
Bright colours
And rooms without lights
Cold weather
Hot bubbling bathtubs
Coffee
Cream
And rubber slippers
Spicy curries
Pink gypsy skirts
New shoes
Old friends
Happy days
I like roses
Black white and red
Perfume
Cold water
Swimming in the sea
Somewhere somehow
Last millennium
Something happened
Somewhere
Somewhy?
I don’t like children
They remind me of him.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
1 comments:
Here's what I think...the main thing (and maybe why no one has really commented yet) is that the last stanza is not yet "earned." The second to last stanza does not make the transition (which seems that is what you are trying to do).
I think one line that is important to this poem, that maybe you can run with, is "And rooms without lights." That really stuck out to me! I think the title is important as well, but the whole thing isn't "cohesive" just yet...
Post a Comment